Letters From God

Dove

Julie Andrews

 

April 2018

Greeting for 2018, Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

 I have been through a wilderness time August-September 17. It was not nice! I was subject to panic attacks and a sense of fear such as I have never had before. How true are the words that say "fear has torment" I was tormented and being tormented. I found myself clinging to Jesus, crying out to Him as never before.

My faith and trust in God was challenged once again by the enemy. He attacked hard and with great viciousness. I was mentally and spiritually  unprepared and I spun out of control. All my peace and confidence in the Lord was lost. I succumbed to negativity. I was literally robbed of my good health; spiritual, mentally, emotionally and physically.

I didn't understand what had gone wrong, what I had done for this to happen. I found myself thinking very strange and unusual thoughts, as I had never thought before. Questioning my understanding of eternity with God; how could that be good? I wanted to go into a place of darkness and never come out. I had a sense of running through a dark tunnel with no end, no matter how long or fast I ran.

There was so much confusion, strife and turmoil within me. I would tell myself, "It's not what I think, or feel or image but what God said is True". Even when I said this and told myself this I couldn't actually imagine how it could be true. I couldn't stop the bombardment of negativity and horror that was happening to me.

In December 17 I went with my husband, who was very concerned for me as were others around me, to the doctor. My symptoms were depression and anxiety so he put me on a medication which improved things a bit but not enough. So we went back and I changed to a different type of medication. Gradually over two months I started to get better and to regain my equilibrium and a true sense of proportion.

We had prayed that Jesus would find the right medication for me and He did. Physically I have an lack of Serotonin, the "happy" chemical, and I need to have it artificially boasted via medication. Rather like those who have, as my husband does, Type1 diabetes. Without daily injections of insulin he cannot function normally and would at risk of death by gradual deteriation within his body, or by coma.

During this time the Lord continued to speak to me and I wrote down His words, which I will share with you. But one of the effects of the attack was to undermine my confidence in hearing at all, what I heard and in speaking it out. I needed to be reminded that these were not MY thoughts or ideas but His and as such I had a responsibility to share, ie it wasn't about me but Him, lol!

It has taken this long for me to start writing again and I was reluctant to share what had happened. But in the end, it Is all about Jesus and how He helps us overcome. If we don't have anything to overcome, how can we be granted permission to sit with Him on His throne?

We overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. This wilderness was overcome by the Blood of the Lamb shed for me at Calvary which has power forever. And this is my testimony of the power of Jesus who rescued me from this attack of the enemy. Believing in spite of everything coming against me, even my own thoughts and feelings, that Jesus was/is in control and He proved/s to be my answer.

I completely and totally acknowledge all those who prayed for me during this time. My wonderful sisters in Christ who are a shinning light; who stayed connected to me even when I found it very hard to respond. They didn't give up on me and I know they were there in the background praying. God bless you with all His goodness and grace.

Jesus has revealed to me the why and the how of this happening. This I totally accept as a breach in my walls which gave the enemy permission to attack. With His help I have repented of my sin and He has helped me close the breach, the clink in my armour. When the next attack came I handled it totally differently. From a place of peace and authority in Jesus.

There remains therefore a rest to the people of God. He who has entered into His rest has ceased from his own works as God did from His.     Hebrews 4:9-10

 

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has torment, and he that fears has not been made perfect in love.
1 John 4:18

Rev 3:21 He who overcomes, I will grant him to sit beside Me on My throne, as I Myself overcame and sat down beside My Father on His throne

Rev 12:11 . and they did overcome him because of the blood of the Lamb, and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life unto death; .